To Entertain A Colonel
by The Dark Wrote
Summary: Anyone who's known John Sheppard for the last three years knew that a sick John was an unhappy John. And an unhappy John left everyone else with a frantic, overprotective, and mothering SGA-1 team. SLASH


**TO ENTERTAIN A COLONEL**

During their first year in the lost city of Atlantis, everyone quickly learned that Air Force Major John Sheppard did not do sick well. At the first sign of a sniffle, half the science team was known to run away screaming in terror. The marines had a tendency to be scarce themselves, never wishing their sick commanding officer on their worse enemies. The medical staff kept a stiff upper lip, although once or twice a nurse could be caught with trembling one's instead, ready to burst into tears. Elizabeth and the gate room staff suffered quietly though, but bottles of Radek Zelenka's moonshine had been seen passed around before. And the Athosians were amused by it all.

As for SGA-1, they took it upon themselves to take care of Sheppard.

...people thought them odd when it was a task they willingly took, with smiles on their faces.

It quickly became apparent why too...

Though he was driven to the point of panicking, McKay always made sure to have some new 'toys' of some sort for Sheppard to play with. He'd distract the other man with Ancient artifacts that they were sure were safe, but were having no luck getting to turn on. (Something that rubbed Rodney the wrong way, but he kept a lid on his discontent when a sick John was around.) They'd spend hours messing with the Ancient technology, laughing, smiling, sneezing (in John's  
case only), and getting along great with each other.

Ford never let anyone talk bad about Sheppard. People were known to complain when the major was ill, he wasn't a very pleasant person to most. The marine always made it a point that neither were they when they got sick, reminding them that even though they were mean when sick too, Sheppard was most of the times the first one wishing them well again. ...they'd quiet down after that.

Quickly learning why a sick John was a unhappy John, Teyla did her best to get her new friend back into good health again with Athosian cold remedies and the such. She quickly learned the earthling way when Sheppard would turn an unhealthy shade of green when some of her remedies didn't sit well with the major. Carson was more then happy to teach the Athosian how to take care of John, he being one of the few people who could stand up to the menace that was an ill pilot.

...everyone learned fast that just as Teyla could not make tutter root soup, nor could she make tomato.

The whole city took pity on poor John when he spent a whole day throwing up his guts in the infirmary after Teyla tried to feed him.

When they tricked the Wraith armada, lost Ford, regained communications with Stargate Command, and brought in Ronon, everyone hoped things might be different with the newly promoted Lieutenant Colonel. They had access to the wonders that were earth again. What could go wrong?

...a lot actually.

Their second year in Atlantis was turning out no better then their first.

Although, everyone was greatly amused with how Ronon Dex, former Runner, was more overprotective of a sick Sheppard then Aiden Ford, currently AWOL marine.

The third year on Atlantis was of course the same as the first two.

But everyone was really happy when the only thing that saved them from Lucius Lavin was, of all things, Sheppard with a cold. That was the only time they were thankful for those damn sniffles. And they were never speaking of that incident again.

It only made sense that Sheppard would again fall ill at some point. This time though, he managed to catch a strain of the Pegasus version of the flu. He and a few lucky others were ordered to bed rest for at least a week, while Carson developed a vaccine for everyone else.

The rest of SGA-1 were some of the first recipients of said vaccine.

...they didn't like not being able to take care of their team leader.

"Here John, sit up," Teyla ordered, carefully placing a tray on Sheppard's lap when he did as told. On the tray was a steaming bowl of... something. John was sure he saw it move. "I asked the mess staff for a new recipe to try for someone sick. Sgt. Johnson recommended 'beef stew'."

Crap. Sheppard's complexion took a turn for the worse immediately, looking almost white as snow. He picked up his spoon and prodded the green... something. He knew that some stew recipes called for celery, but he was pretty sure that whatever the green thing was, it wasn't celery. That and he was sure that it was what had moved earlier.

"Er... thanks Teyla," he eventually managed to say, his voice a little on the hoarse side.

Over Teyla's shoulder, from where he stood behind the woman, McKay winced when he saw the 'stew'. The scientist immediately gave a sympathetic look to the sick man, having been forced to try 'porridge' once when he himself was sick and unable to stomach heavy food. John started coughing when Rodney made the sign of the cross though, knowing perfectly well that the Canadian was an atheist.

"That cough does not sound well," worried Teyla, frowning just the slightest. Standing up, she picked up an empty teapot that was sitting on the bedside table. "I will go and prepare you some more tea. It should help ease your lungs and relieve your throat."

"Thanks Teyla," smiled John, truly grateful for the tea. Teyla always made the best.

As soon as she was gone and out of the room, Ronon took her place on the side on John's bed, reaching for the bowl. He ate it with gusto, never making a face at the taste or complaining. He never so much as hinted at the urge to throw up.

The man had a stomach of steel.

And John loved him for it.

While Ronon bravely faced the 'stew' from hell, McKay picked up a duffel bag he had brought to Sheppard's room earlier and had sat on the computer desk. He opened it up and pulled out a large thermos jug. Taking off the lid, he laid it on the desk and then twisted off the cap, then proceeded to pour the contents of the thermos into the lid.

"Here," sighed Rodney, handing over the lid. "Chicken noodle soup. Now drink it quick before Teyla comes back."

God Sheppard really loved these guys.

**sickasadogsickasadogsickasadog**

When Teyla finally returned to Sheppard's room, she had freshly made hot tea. She eyed the room when she stepped in though, feeling something was off. The tray and an empty bowl sat on the bedside table, and rinsed out teacups sat on the coffee table, waiting for the tea. McKay was messing with his laptop at the desk, his bag sitting by his feet. On the couch, Ronon was gulping down a couple of bottles of water. And laying comfortably on his bed was John.

Not finding anything wrong, Teyla moved over to the coffee table and poured some tea into all four glasses. She picked up two, sitting one by Rodney's laptop and then handing one to John. When she returned to the table, Ronon had picked one up for himself, sipping it slowly. Smiling, Teyla sat next to the Satedean, picking up her own cup and sipping some tea for herself.

It was quiet for a while, the four of them sipping their tea and enjoying each other's presence.

But then...

"I'm bored," whined John, pouting at his team mates.

Teyla sighed.

Ronon grinned.

Rodney shook his head. "Right. I knew this would happen. Honestly Sheppard, can't you be sick like other people?"

"But you love me this way," John grinned.

"And only god knows why."

"McKay, you're an atheist."

"Well there you go."

The two bickered for a while. Ronon and Teyla were more then happy to sit and listen to the pair. It was something  
they did all the time anyways. When Sheppard started to look pale (and after regaining his color too, after seeing Teyla's 'stew'), only then did they step in.

"Hey, that's enough," Ronon ordered.

"Yes," agreed Teyla. "Colonel Sheppard, you must rest. As much as you and Dr. McKay enjoy your... conversations, it is not helping you in your recovery."

Sheppard sighed. "Yes mom and dad."

McKay snorted.

Teyla arched an eyebrow.

Ronon huffed in laughter.

**sickasadogsickasadogsickasadog**

"Perhaps we should watch something," suggested Teyla later, after they had played a invigorating game of 'Go Fish'. They would have played 'War', but Ronon and Sheppard got a little too competitive. "Surely there is something we can watch?"

John snickered. "Don't call me 'Shirley'."

"Oh god, you're quoting _Airplane_?" Rodney shuddered. "Horrible, horrible movie."

"Guess we won't be watching that one then," commented Ronon.

"Just as well," Teyla sighed. "I fear you and I would just be horribly confused Ronon."

"Probably."

"Shun the non-believer," Sheppard hoarsely yelled. "Shun him, shuuun him!"

"Very funny colonel. Ha ha. Now tell me who let you watch 'Charlie the Unicorn'?"

"Rodney. Rod-ney. Roood-neeey."

"Oh for the love of-! What is it Sheppard?"

"We're on a bridge!"

Ronon gave Teyla a funny look, head tilting towards John still on the bed. "Meds kicking in?"

"For his sake, I hope so," sighed Teyla, looking skyward.

**sickasadogsickasadogsickasadog**

"You hate it."

"Yes, yes, I know that, but still."

"But you hate it."

"Yes, Sheppard, I know."

"But you _hate_ it."

"Colonel," McKay grounded out through clenched teeth. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

John gave Rodney a searching look. He frowned, hazel eyes narrowing on the scientist. Eventually he smiled brightly. "Then what are we waiting for? Put it in!"

Sighing, McKay reached into his duffel bag again, this time pulling out the boxed set for the _Back To The Future_ trilogy that he had borrowed from Lorne just that morning. He gave the boxed set a glare before he started to grumble, picking his laptop up and bringing both over to the pilot's bedside table. Rodney soon had the first movie set up, then grabbed a chair and dragged it over to the other side of the bed and sat down.

Teyla pulled a throw blanket that she had gifted Sheppard with the second time he'd been sick since she met him off the back of the couch. She walked over to the side of the bed Rodney was on and patted him on the shoulder, smiling; the Athosian knew how much he hated the movies. She sat down on the bed then, pulling herself up closer to the pillows and began to lay down next to John, who shuffled over so that the woman could be a little more comfortable on the narrow bed. One of Teyla's dark arms wrapped around her friend's waist while she laid her head on a black clad shoulder just right so she could see the screen of the laptop. With McKay's help, the throw blanket was laid over both her and John.

They had all noticed how he had been shivering...

The door chimed, but opened automatically without John, Teyla or Rodney's say so. Ronon stuck his head through the door way, giving the three an amused look. "Is it safe to come in now? I have popcorn."

McKay snorted. "Yes, it is now safe to come in. Hurry up, you missing link. We're about to start the movie."

Ignoring the missing link comment (he'd get Rodney back later during practice), Ronon entered the room, having left earlier when it was decided they would watch a movie. The former Runner had gone to the mess to get some popcorn, along with beer for the healthy SGA-1 members and some apple juice for the not so healthy one. Laying the bowl on Sheppard's other side, within easy reach of the others, he handed out the beers and the bottle of juice to John. Satisfied that everyone had what they needed, he sat down on the floor after grabbing some throw pillows off the couch. He was sitting next to the bedside table and leaning against the bed, but being as tall as he was and the laptop being angled in such a manner, he was able to see clearly. That and he could reach the popcorn easier.

"So, _Back To The Future_, huh," mumbled Ronon around a mouthful of popcorn, already helping himself. "I thought you swore never again, McKay?"

John thumped Ronon on the back of the head, easily being able to do so. "Be nice, Ronon. Don't aggravate the mean man who can shut off your hot water whenever and forever if he wants to."

"If you weren't sick, I'd do it to you," Rodney had to snark. "But unfortunately you already are. I'll settle for eating your desert until you're better, Sheppard. Ronon on the other hand..."

Ronon shrugged. "I'll just have to take your shower, won't I McKay? I doubt you'd turn off your own hot water."

"...damn you, you dirty ape."

Teyla sighed.

**sickasadogsickasadogsickasadog**

John sighed, but quickly smiled soon after.

Asleep on the couch, curled up in the throw blanket was Teyla. She breathed lightly, a serene look on her face. If anything though, she looked innocent, something she didn't normally look when awake, because she always had to look serious in her role as a leader. She had to be tough and wise. But in her sleep, Teyla could revert back to her days as a little girl back on Athos.

Ronon snored lightly from his place on the floor. He was close to the door of the room, a strategic move in case anyone needed something during the night or if an emergency should occur. It was an old habit actually. Only because of his trust in the inhabitants of the city of Atlantis was why he did not stay awake and keep guard or sleep with his eyes open. (John had seen him do it too, squawking in surprise. He'd stubbed his toe soon after that...) Only an extra blanket and the throw pillows from earlier was what Ronon needed. It was a peaceful sleep.

Humming in content, John snuggled more into Rodney's front. The scientist had his face pressed into John's hair and his arms wrapped around the pilot's waist while their legs tangled together. Rodney's big hands had eased underneath John's shirt earlier, being a great source of warmth for the sick man. Smiling, John carefully tucked his head under the other's chin and pressed his nose against Rodney's neck, breathing in the scent of the sea and Old Spice.

Rodney snuffled when John had stuck his cold nose against his throat. His grip tightened around the other's waist again, his hands absently rubbing John's back. "Aren't you asleep yet," Rodney's muffled sleepy voice asked. "You won't get better if you don't rest, you idiot."

"Love you too, Rodney," chuckled John, closing his eyes.

The feeling of lips against his forehead hadn't surprised John at all. Nor did Rodney's silently voiced 'I love you'.  
Together, they eased into sleep.

The reason the other expedition members had seen for why the rest of SGA-1 would take care of a sick Sheppard? Especially when no one else would dare? Obvious: they loved him and he loved them. They were family. Aiden had been a little brother to him while he was still there, still was sometimes. Teyla was the wise older sister, even if she really was younger then John. Ronon too had become a brother, just one with an odd fetish for sharp things. And Rodney?

...he had been a best friend first, but quickly had become the love of John's life.

And John was his too.

That's why they took care of him. Simple, right?


End file.
